Romance for Some, Judgment for Others

I recently met someone from New York at a party. She is engaged to a third generation Italian and was casually talking about the political scene in the city. She expressed skepticism about Mamdani. She spoke critically about immigrants. She mentioned the many homeless people she had seen on the subway. She shared one incident where a homeless man startled a girl. In a low voice, she added that she did not want to stereotype, but the man was Hispanic. Her tone was condescending. I listened quietly.

Within minutes, the conversation shifted. Suddenly, she spoke about Italians, her fiance’s family. She proudly mentioned their connections to the Italian mob, fascinated and almost boastful.

She herself is an immigrant and white. I am also an immigrant, but a person of color. The contrast stayed with me: one culture is romanticized, celebrated, and even admired. Meanwhile, another is reduced to fear or suspicion for the same behaviors.

I kept listening, wondering why some histories are admired and others whispered about.