One Dress, One Candle, One Deliberate Step at a Time

“What do I want in life at this point in time?”
I return to this question whenever someone else’s milestone tempts me to compare myself. When these corporate, job-related milestones are celebrated around me, I don’t feel inspired. I feel examined. Corporate milestones unsettle me. Personal achievements genuinely inspire me, and I celebrate them wholeheartedly.

My ego sways. I admit it. Sometimes I quietly believe I’m smarter than these people.

But I also understand that they didn’t get there because they are smarter than me. They got there because that is what they wanted.

That’s when my mind begins its quiet cross-examination. Questioning my choices, my ambitions, what truly matters to me, and why I choose this path. And then, in that moment, a quiet clarity settles. Unshakable, simple, undeniable. Yet I know it will be tested again. The next time circumstances stir my ego, the same examination will play out all over again.

The voice whispers: It’s not your path. You are not weak, nor lacking. You are simply focusing your energy elsewhere, and that is serving you better.

I ask myself what my path is, and the answer is always the same. I don’t chase someone else’s aspirations. I want flexibility to spend time with my family, to travel, to explore, and to keep learning new things. My path isn’t about climbing titles or certifications. It is about growth, curiosity, and creating a life that feels meaningful to me. These are the things that make me feel alive, that make my life feel rich and intentional.

Looking back, I see that this path works. I’ve built a product on the side, sold it through Amazon and retail stores, and formed meaningful relationships. I’ve traveled and spent time with family. Last year, I learned new technical skills, improved my speaking, and took steps toward childhood dreams.

With the new year upon me, I am committing to skills that advance my corporate path. I am also committed to the passions that feed my creativity. Fashion designing and candle making are at the top of my list.

Yes, I am scared. I worry that this enthusiasm might fade. I fear that I won’t know how to navigate. I might discover I lack the skills. I fear it will end up like my childhood drawing book. Its pages too perfect and white, untouched, left empty by fear of spoiling them.

I follow a method that works for me. I declare my intentions to a close circle of friends and cousins. It is how I hold myself accountable and ensure these aspirations turn into real steps forward.

With this accountability in place, I want to move forward, creating one dress and one candle at a time. This time, my drawing book will not remain empty. It will overflow with the pictures of my imperfections, proudly displayed. How perfect that would be.

And so, each time I ask myself what I want in life, I am reminded. It is not about the milestones of others. It is about the life I choose to create, one deliberate step at a time.