Wandering Between Pain and Grace.

I wanted to start this blog with something beautiful, maybe a memory from my childhood, something gentle and warm.
But today, I had a conversation with a friend that changed what I felt like writing about.

She asked me about an idea of mine that was once copied by others. One that could have brought me success, maybe even wealth, if I had acted on it in time.
Yes, it’s true, the idea was mine. It’s even patented. But others copied it and made money from it.

When she asked how I felt, I told her it’s painful. It’s hard to think about what could have been. But I’m not someone who stays stuck in losses. I told her I believe the Divine takes care of me.

I worked on a design I knew would sell. I went through all the struggles of finding the right materials, getting prototypes made, and finally producing the product. In the first year, I launched it on a small scale, and it was a great success. In the second year, I was preparing to expand. I planned to reach out to big retailers. I wanted to introduce it in new markets and build a full business plan. I was figuring out how to finance it and make it grow.

That’s when tragedy struck. I lost a family member to a terminal illness, and that year became unbearable. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t focus, couldn’t create. It took all my strength just to make it through.

I came out of the grief eventually. By then, the product had been copied and sold all over the world. This happened even though I held the patent.

So when my friend asked, “How can you say the Divine takes care of you after all that?” I told her this.
Maybe I’m paying for my karma through these heartbreaks and losses. I believe the Divine knew the pain I would face and made sure I was surrounded by people and love strong enough to carry me through it.

My family.
My mother.
My sister.
My cousins.
My girlfriends.
My job.
My kids.
My love for exploring.

All of this, I believe, was given to me by the Divine.
How could I keep counting my losses when I’m surrounded by so much abundance?

Yes, I have every reason to cry, to complain, and sometimes I do.
But I also have countless reasons to give thanks.
I cannot play the victim when I’ve already won so much.
For that, I am endlessly grateful.